I will now be taking questions. Internet, do your worst.
Like the time I called that nurse a ‘fat-faced ultradivvy’.
What you’ve all got to realise is that we’re all a bit disabled. I’m innumerate. But we all have to chip in. It takes three to tango.
Earlier today, delighted by the news of the British Olympic success, I went on a wire.
Yet again proving that I am always right about everything.